Skip to main content

What Really Matters

 
Monday, October 22, 2012:  The date that I originally put this picture in a draft and saved it with the title "It's for real." I thought I was going to a place called the International House of Prayer in Kansas City for an internship.  I thought it was for real. I could barely believe it myself because I was planning to do something very far outside of my comfort zone, but it was for real. 
 
I was going to be moving away from my family, hometown, most of my friends, and the familiarity of what I've spent the last 7 years knowing life to be.
I'm not writing this post to tell the story of what happened or why in March, I'm still here, living with my family in my hometown with most of my friends and that familiarity still surrounding me.
While I could explain the mental process of my decision not to go, I cannot tell you why I'm here instead of there right now, because even I don't know.
I know that in choosing to go or not to go to IHOP, I've probably changed the course of my life, whether in big or little ways and the temptation is there to worry about whether I made the right decision.  The thing is, I can't know exactly what any of those ways would have translated into. 
 
Would I be closer to the Lord now, or would my heart have hardened towards Him through some random happening? 
Would I have been blessing the people around me more?
Are the relationships I've deepened here better than having founded new ones there?
Would the hard things that happened since I stayed have happened if I had gone?
Would my best friend be my best friend?
Did I just not go because I was scared?
Have I done something great here that I wouldn't have done if I had gone?
Did I defy the will of God by not going?
 
Or the other way around?
 
There could be a barrage of questions if I kept thinking about this long enough, but the truth is, I don't think any one of those specific questions matter as much as this one answer: the Lord is my Shepherd.
 
I know that sin is not what God would will for us to do but we can choose sin very easily.  So it makes sense to reason that since it's easy to sin, it's easy to not be in God's will.  I don't think that's right. 
It is easy to sin.  But God's grace abounds, setting us back into a right relationship with Him.  Therefore, even as a Christ-follower, because I sin does not put me outside of God's will.  He remains my shepherd. 
I don't think the will of God is a certain combination of choices and events and if I happen to make a wrong choice or not go to one event that I was supposed to be at, there's no going back.  To say that His will is something I could understand that easily is sort of rediculous really.  He is a multi-faceted God, so why wouldn't His will reflect that?
 
I think the biggest question I've had about not going to IHOP is whether or not it was God's will that I stayed.  Should I have gone? Did I really screw up this time by not choosing the other side of the fork in the road?
Like I said, I could come up with tons of questions for every decision I make.  The biggest one being "Did I make the right choice?"  And I know I'm not the only one who has ever asked that question.  For others, maybe it wasn't IHOP, but it was a college or job or car or investment or relationship.
 
With the Bible as the ultimate authority, some choices are black and white.
But sometimes (the Bible still being the ultimate authority) choices aren't black and white and when we make decisions that are gray, I believe that what matters is how we go through with those decisions, and not so much whether or not we made the right decision.
 
The answer to any of my questions from the 3rd paragraph can be answered not in words but in how my life reflects the fact that the Lord is my Shepherd.  If He is my Shepherd, it's not going to matter as much whether I made the right decision.  If the Lord is my Shepherd, I will live my life, wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, in a way that brings Him as much glory as my life can bring Him.
I'm not going to stress about whether or not I should have gone to IHOP or not.  Instead, I want to pursue the Lord in a way that it doesn't matter whether I went or not.

Popular posts from this blog

Post Prompts I

I googled blog post prompts just for fun and found a website with a whole bunch.  Rather than writing whole posts on some of the topics, I decided to do interview style responses. Write about the first time you broke the law. When I was 4, stole a handful of grass seed from a store. Felt awful but never admitted to it untill way later. They knew I was lying but never prosecuted (is it even possible to prosecute a 4 year old?).  I discarded the evidence onto their lawn as soon as I got out of the store (I guess that was sort of smart).  Why grass seed? Good question.  Your favorite vacation spot or place that you've traveled to. An Island in Malaysia called Redang. Everything about that place looked like those tropical photos you secretly doubt the existence of.  Straight up B-E-A-U-tiful. Write about the passing of a loved one. My Grandma died 2 years ago on the 4th of July (ironic, don't you think?).  For me, the whole experience wa...
Read more

From desiringGod Blog

From a blog I follow called  desiringGod .  The whole website is full of truth.  I encourage you to check it out.  I've enlarged and boldened sentences I think are especially well said.   Not Your Mother's Kind of Tolerance by Jonathan Parnell | August 2, 2012   Views that advocate same-sex marriage are free to exist, but they are wrong. Now, stop. Read the above sentence again. Are you okay with it? Chances are how you feel about that statement indicates your understanding (or misunderstanding) of tolerance. D. A. Carson, in his book, The Intolerance of Tolerance , explains that Western culture isn't exactly firing on all cylinders when it comes to knowing what tolerance is. He distinguishes two different concepts of this word: old tolerance and new tolerance. Old tolerance — that is, before the onslaught of postmodernism — defines the concept as to "accept the existence of different views." New tolerance, however, defines tolerance ...
Read more

We Meet Again

Well, to say that it feels weird to be here again is an understatement. This is a little emotional for me and I'll try to explain why. Firstly, it's been a while since the last time I wrote here. When I typed the address into the search bar, I was actually surprised that a 404 page didn't show up and that, instead, I saw a familiar title and design come up on the screen. There it was - my own writing, published on a web page I undoubtedly spent hours adjusting and tweaking until it was just right, down to the blue and green squares I painted  by hand, scanned into a computer and digitized the old fashioned way with....wait for it.....*Microsoft Paint*.  Illustrator? Pshht. Who needs that when you've got the grandmother of graphic design tools for FREE on your receptionist job work computer? (sarcasm, of course. Adobe, baby, I love you.) But even the details and designs of this page speak to the reason why this is emotional for me. All of the things about this blog that ...
Read more