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Getting the hang of it.

Oh, that struggle between the things I thought made up who I was and the things I choose now to be the person I want to be.
I know that my identity lies untouchable in Jesus and the fact that He vouches for the wretch that I once was.  I'm not saying that things I do can either save or damn me.  Besides accepting Jesus, there isn't anything.  I'm talking about the kind of person I am.
To gain those things you never thought possible, you have to give up things you never have(or something like that).  We've all heard a variation of the thought before, but I find myself making the choice again and again to give up those things I've grown used to in myself that really don't mean all that much to me for the sake of gaining things much, much better.
It's hard to give up the McDisgusting in exchange for a steak dinner if you've only ever driven the road to McDonald's.  It's habit.  You might even be craving a filet mignon but the simple truth is that you're not used to driving the way to Cork 'n' Cleaver.  But every time you drive the way to the best steak place in town, you get a little more used to it and a little better at turning the right way out of your driveway.*  At least for me that's how it works and I bet you aren't too different.
This isn't my first time driving down this road of a lot of things.  I'm still learning how to be a better friend and girlfriend and daughter.  I'm still learning that my thoughts could be so much better most of the time.  I'm still learning how to treat people even when they're being ridiculous. But just because I don't have a roadmap or already know what perfect looks like isn't a good reason to just not try.

C.S. Lewis once said,
“The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him… There is, indeed, one exception. If you do him a good turn, not to please God and obey the law of charity, but to show him what a fine forgiving chap you are, and to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his ‘gratitude’, you will probably be disappointed.” Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis
I'm not saying we should do good things just to do them, regardless of where our hearts are, but there's some definite truth to the fact that part of fighting the spiritual battle is not letting your flesh and blood even have a chance.  For me, that means sometimes changing habits and tendencies.  It means getting the hang of it.

I know I'll never be perfect, but knowing that the Holy Spirit is helping me drive down all these new roads gives me hope that someday, I'll get there.

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*(I've never actually been to Cork 'n' Cleaver so I'm not calling them the best in town.  Also, I don't think McDonalds is that disgusting.  Just Big Mac Sauce and the Filet-O-Fish.)

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