All the rest have left. Not because they wanted to be anywhere except here but because they had obligations. I'm not bitter or complaining. I'm just saying.
It's just you and I. And your presence is sweetly pungent.
Your Spirit is thick in the air.
I can hear you so well - not because you're speaking so loudly but because my ear is so close to you and listening for your voice.
I can hear you so well that it's hard for me to know how to take it all in - because I'm not used to this. I'm used to things like this being my own imagination. But now that I think about it, when was the last time that my imagination told me to be cheerfully generous? Or to be strong and courageous? Or to set my mind on things above? When was the last time that my imagination told me that you were here with me and it was only my imagination and not my whole being aching for your touch? No, all of those things are You.
Today, guilt has been hanging. I've smelled it's musky and stagnant but sharp stench in the air. I've seen it strung through my thoughts toward myself and others. I've felt the fruits of it in my spirit's unrest. I've tried to give council to some in attempts to really give myself the answers. But the truth is, my character is not fabricated by truth. In fact, I was born a slave to sin, but have chosen for myself slavery to righteousness instead. My surrender to you, though, is not a one-and-done but rather a continual trade: all of me for all of You. It's when I forget that and forge on by my own strength that I find myself swimming in guilt, unable to shake it off. It's when I forget that I begin to doubt Your words and begin to look for who I am in the face of any and everyone else.
I'm tired and I haven't slept enough lately but Lord, I know you hear me now and you won't leave even when I drift off to sleep in a few minutes. Would you come wash me in your words? Come show me Your face, because Your face is lovely. Come sing songs of deliverance over me, because Your voice is sweet. Come speak Your truth into my ear and let it transform my mind and renew my heart.
I want to behold you God. I want to be like you. You are so lovely. So I give you all of me in exchange for all of you. You're worth it.
Way worth it.