Skip to main content

[Untitled]


All the rest have left.  Not because they wanted to be anywhere except here but because they had obligations.  I'm not bitter or complaining.  I'm just saying.
It's just you and I.  And your presence is sweetly pungent.  
Your Spirit is thick in the air.  
I can hear you so well - not because you're speaking so loudly but because my ear is so close to you and listening for your voice.  
I can hear you so well that it's hard for me to know how to take it all in -  because I'm not used to this.  I'm used to things like this being my own imagination.  But now that I think about it, when was the last time that my imagination told me to be cheerfully generous?  Or to be strong and courageous?  Or to set my mind on things above?  When was the last time that my imagination told me that you were here with me and it was only my imagination and not my whole being aching for your touch?  No, all of those things are You.  

Today, guilt has been hanging.  I've smelled it's musky and stagnant but sharp stench in the air.  I've seen it strung through my thoughts toward myself and others.  I've felt the fruits of it in my spirit's unrest.  I've tried to give council to some in attempts to really give myself the answers.  But the truth is, my character is not fabricated by truth.  In fact, I was born a slave to sin, but have chosen for myself slavery to righteousness instead.  My surrender to you, though, is not a one-and-done but rather a continual trade: all of me for all of You. It's when I forget that and forge on by my own strength that I find myself swimming in guilt, unable to shake it off.  It's when I forget that I begin to doubt Your words and begin to look for who I am in the face of any and everyone else.  
I'm tired and I haven't slept enough lately but Lord, I know you hear me now and you won't leave even when I drift off to sleep in a few minutes.  Would you come wash me in your words?  Come show me Your face, because Your face is lovely.  Come sing songs of deliverance over me, because Your voice is sweet.  Come speak Your truth into my ear and let it transform my mind and renew my heart.  
I want to behold you God. I want to be like you.  You are so lovely.  So I give you all of me in exchange for all of you.  You're worth it. 
Way worth it.

Popular posts from this blog

Post Prompts I

I googled blog post prompts just for fun and found a website with a whole bunch.  Rather than writing whole posts on some of the topics, I decided to do interview style responses. Write about the first time you broke the law. When I was 4, stole a handful of grass seed from a store. Felt awful but never admitted to it untill way later. They knew I was lying but never prosecuted (is it even possible to prosecute a 4 year old?).  I discarded the evidence onto their lawn as soon as I got out of the store (I guess that was sort of smart).  Why grass seed? Good question.  Your favorite vacation spot or place that you've traveled to. An Island in Malaysia called Redang. Everything about that place looked like those tropical photos you secretly doubt the existence of.  Straight up B-E-A-U-tiful. Write about the passing of a loved one. My Grandma died 2 years ago on the 4th of July (ironic, don't you think?).  For me, the whole experience wa...

We Meet Again

Well, to say that it feels weird to be here again is an understatement. This is a little emotional for me and I'll try to explain why. Firstly, it's been a while since the last time I wrote here. When I typed the address into the search bar, I was actually surprised that a 404 page didn't show up and that, instead, I saw a familiar title and design come up on the screen. There it was - my own writing, published on a web page I undoubtedly spent hours adjusting and tweaking until it was just right, down to the blue and green squares I painted  by hand, scanned into a computer and digitized the old fashioned way with....wait for it.....*Microsoft Paint*.  Illustrator? Pshht. Who needs that when you've got the grandmother of graphic design tools for FREE on your receptionist job work computer? (sarcasm, of course. Adobe, baby, I love you.) But even the details and designs of this page speak to the reason why this is emotional for me. All of the things about this blog that ...

From desiringGod Blog

From a blog I follow called  desiringGod .  The whole website is full of truth.  I encourage you to check it out.  I've enlarged and boldened sentences I think are especially well said.   Not Your Mother's Kind of Tolerance by Jonathan Parnell | August 2, 2012   Views that advocate same-sex marriage are free to exist, but they are wrong. Now, stop. Read the above sentence again. Are you okay with it? Chances are how you feel about that statement indicates your understanding (or misunderstanding) of tolerance. D. A. Carson, in his book, The Intolerance of Tolerance , explains that Western culture isn't exactly firing on all cylinders when it comes to knowing what tolerance is. He distinguishes two different concepts of this word: old tolerance and new tolerance. Old tolerance — that is, before the onslaught of postmodernism — defines the concept as to "accept the existence of different views." New tolerance, however, defines tolerance ...