Skip to main content

Clear The Stage

This song was first brought to my attention a few months ago - when one of my biggest idols was being exposed for what it really was.
Since I've been learning all along, but especially today, that vulnerability is something that should increase as you become more and more rooted in the Lord, I will be vulnerable with you here and now. 
One of my biggest idols for about half of my life was liking guys.  And while it was specific guys that I would like, my idol was moreso just having someone to daydream, think, talk and pray about.
I realize that liking somebody isn't sin in itself.  I actually think that romanctic love is one of the big ways that the Lord is glorified through our hearts as humans. 
It became an idol though, because I allowed it to be my god.  I based my relationship with God on how my love life was.  When someone would ask me how I was, I would reply based on my relationship with the person I liked.  When I prayed, a majority of the content of my prayers would concern the guy I liked at the time and my relationship with him.  Not to mention that my conversations with other people always seemed to gravitate toward the same thing.  Some of those things aren't bad in and of themselves.  But when they take over, they become idols.  Same with anything else except God. 
And then, the Lord gave me a more specific and clear definition of what an idol is through this song:
"Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
Anything I can’t stop thinking of is an idol
And anything that I give all my love is an idol"
I mean I had heard that anything you put before God is an idol.  But what did that really look like?  And if I didn't know what that looked like, how could I guard against letting it take root in my heart?  Once in a while I would try to check my heart and think."It seems fine.  I mean I'm not taking this relationship into my own hands.  I'm trusting God with it."  But the fact that I always had a relationship on my mind was what my biggest idol was - and I didn't even see it.

He's showed and is showing me
A) What an idol really is.
and
B) The fact that I need to continually be asking the Holy Spirit to search, point out and pull out all the idols that I have allowed to take root in my heart.  Because not only do I not have the strength to pull them out on my own-I can't even see them without His help.

I am a work in progress (and will be my entire life), but the Lord has been delivering me from my idols more every day that I desire His will for my heart. 
That's not to say that I can't like someone, but He is the one who has to have my heart first and always first.  That is what He asks of me and that's the way He designed it to be.  So I (over and over again) clear the stage for Him, with His help and ask that through me, He would make much of Himself.
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Christmas Eve Eve

Today is Christmas Eve Eve.  I worked almost all day.  I'm very thankful for the hours and I didn't have other plans so I didn't mind being there. One of my managers kept asking me if I was in a bad mood though.  I think 3 times she asked me this today between the two shifts that I worked.  At first I just thought I wasn't really paying attention to my facial expressions since I was busy and tired (I tend to look mad when I'm not paying attention and tired). Then I started thinking about it more and I realized that maybe there was something wrong deep down and I hadn't even noticed it. There has been quite a bit on my mind for the past few months and especially this past week or so- I had noticed that- but I didn't know it had gotten to me so much.  I am thankful though because it gives me an opportunity to give the burden to the Lord.  This whole thing has made me think that even though there is noticeably something on my heart the fact that Christmas i...
Read more

Post Prompts I

I googled blog post prompts just for fun and found a website with a whole bunch.  Rather than writing whole posts on some of the topics, I decided to do interview style responses. Write about the first time you broke the law. When I was 4, stole a handful of grass seed from a store. Felt awful but never admitted to it untill way later. They knew I was lying but never prosecuted (is it even possible to prosecute a 4 year old?).  I discarded the evidence onto their lawn as soon as I got out of the store (I guess that was sort of smart).  Why grass seed? Good question.  Your favorite vacation spot or place that you've traveled to. An Island in Malaysia called Redang. Everything about that place looked like those tropical photos you secretly doubt the existence of.  Straight up B-E-A-U-tiful. Write about the passing of a loved one. My Grandma died 2 years ago on the 4th of July (ironic, don't you think?).  For me, the whole experience wa...
Read more

The Crisis by Ennio Morricone

I think this song is beautiful.  And I didn't even realize that I thought so until now even though I've heard it before.   I'm a sucker for movie music because it's usually sort of dramatic and I like dramatic music.  I like that aspect of the song.   I also like that it has a jazzy feel to it and that it just has a pretty melody to it.  What really made me realize that I like this song though is that almost right off the bat, you can hear what sounds like a mistake- but the song continues on.   This song has a unique form of beauty in music- the mix of conventional beauty with one more unique that sounds like a mistake at first.   There's something beautiful to me about continuing on-despite the "mistake" (although I'm pretty sure in the case of this song, the "mistake" isn't really a mistake). Maybe it's because I know my very apparent need for grace, my need for the love of God to continue to me despite my mistakes.  He...
Read more