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50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind: 43-50

43.If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
 Just because good things can come from mistakes doesn't make them pleasant or enjoyable.  I wish I could learn every lesson the easy way, but sometimes it's through the mistakes that I will learn what I need to learn.  So I'll keep trying to learn my lessons the easy way, but if I do need to learn them from mistakes or hard times, then so be it. 

44.What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Good question.  I would probably share my faith more.  Because it's a wonderful thing and I want everyone to know the truth about how God is, who He says we are and how our relationship with Him was intended to be, but sometimes the fear of what people will think stops me from being an intentional witness to it.
I would also probably go out on a limb more when it comes to fashion, style, writing and trying new things as well, just to name a few.  And honestly answering this question makes me want to do more of all these things I've listed.  Because I have already known that the fear of people judging me shouldn't be allowed to influence me.  Now I've identified these things and I can strategically focus on doing those things since I've established that there's no good reason not to.

45.When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Well,besides just now when I noticed because this question brought it to mind, I think last night or the night before when I was laying in bed trying to sleep. I noticed that my own breathing was really just annoying me.  But on a side note I do have a cold/allergies at the moment so I don't have this struggle every time I try to go to sleep.

46.What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
This is a complex queston.  There are so many things that I love.  I love Jesus.  I love my family.  I love friends.  Sometimes I love aquaintances- for some reason sometimes the most random people have a place in my heart. I love my future husband.  I love being able to love.  I love how the things of God work.  I love life.  The way that I usually appreciate things I love is by admiring them quietly from afar.  But that's not what this question asked.  How do I express love?  With words, sometimes.  With time, very often. But the best way is by living it out.  Sometimes in patience.  Sometimes in working issues out with them.  Sometimes in telling them something bad that I see going on in their life.  Sometimes in telling them how great I think they are.

47.In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?
What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Yet another good question that I don't know the answer to.  I might.  I don't really know what about yesterday or the day before that or the day before that will end up having a big impact on me so it's hard to know if I'll remember them.  Maybe now I will since this question has made me pay special attention to remembering them.  Check back with me 5 years from now and I'll tell you if I remember them or not. K?

48.Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself,
or are you letting others make them for you?
This question strikes me as particularly dramatic haha.  But it's a good question because I think other people are making our decisions for us more than we realize. Take commercials for example, and trends.  How many of those things would we be buying into if it weren't for others practically imposing them on us?  Ultimately the choice is our own but when we are unaware and not consciously making our own decisions, I'm afraid we let others do it for us without even realizing it.
I actually have been trying to be more aware of this fact as of lately (and it's good timing too, especially with the presidential elections coming up).  I hope I am making my own decisions as much as I think I am.

49. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Yes and no.  I don't think I'm a bad friend.  But from the inside perspective that I have on myself, I know I could be a better friend.  I'm not being the best friend that I could be to some people and if I had the option, I would choose for myself the best friends I could get.  So basically this question tells me to step it up but to stay encouraged because I could be doing a much worse job too.

50. Why are you, you?
Why am I me?  Because only I think the way I do.  Only I know the people I do.  Only I know people the way I do.  Only I have the creativity and ideas that I do.  Only I exist in the exact combination of times and places that I do.  Only I have the skills and imperfections that I do.  Only I can affect some people in certain ways.  Only I can be the person God made to love Him back.  There is a lot that makes me, me.  And all of it is important and special.  This leads me to a thought I've had about how people say "If everyone is special then no one is special."  It's not true.  If God was a God who could only pay attention to one thing at a time, that may have an ounce of validity to it.  However, God is an all-knowing God who is not constrained by time or space and thus, can fully appreciate how special each person is, all the time.  My point in all of this is that I don't even fully know what makes me, me.   But He does because He not only made me, but is always watching me.  So really, I'm looking to Him for the answer to that question.  What does make me, me?

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