This is Missy. Missy is cute. |
I was sitting on this low couch we have (my mom made it - she's all creative like that) and cuddling my dogs. I cuddled Dolly (Missy's mom) and after I put her down she just walked away. Then I picked missy up and put her on my lap and kissed her on the head, but she (without missing a beat) started climbing up and trying to get closer to my face (in order to lick it no doubt).
I know I'm using my dogs as an analogy. I know how lame that is. Sorry. But bear with me here.
I couldn't help but draw a symbolization between what my dogs did and what I do with God.
Maybe everyone else doesn't struggle with this, but I have a hard time returning to the Lord when I've felt a good dose of His love or spent a lot of time in His word. Almost like how I wouldn't want to chug a cup of water if I'm not thirsty (or so it seems).
I think my problem is that (metaphorically) I'm under the impression that I'm not thirsty when I really am. But the truth is, I will never have had enough of God. To think that I would be better off if I distance myself from something good is just wrong. It's not a conscious decision I make, but I should be held responsible for more than just my conscious decisions. Backing off from God because I feel like I can't 'handle' all that love and goodness just isn't ok.
There have been a whole bunch of things in my life confirming this thought lately: Hunger and thirst for the Lord are good and when I feel like seeking Him, wonderful! But even when I don't feel hungry and thirsty or like I need to be seeking Him, I really do need to be.
I need to keep coming back for more of what I know is good for me, no matter how I feel at the time.
It's not something I can get myself pumped up for because the whole point is that I don't feel like doing it at the time. But I want to be close to His heart and I can't do that if I take a step back after every step forward.
No more backward steps (with His help).