This strange life.

Life is made of the strangest things.

Helpless infants, helpless old people, sunsets, sunless tanner, broken hearts and hopes, natural highs, punk rock, musicals, weddings, fragranced body lotioin, dirt roads, authors, autistic people, kiddie pools, the ocean, cookouts, steakouts, netflix, knitting, nailpolish, mowing the lawn, eating out, the zoo, body spray, coffee, funerals, birthday parties, hot air balooning . . .

The list goes on.
And I don't even have a theme in mind for this post as I write it, standing here in the middle of the cosmetics section of a department store. Just that life is so full of EVERYTHING and at this very moment, I don't really know how to feel about that.
A little scared, some disappointment and worry, some excitement and nervousness. Exhaustion and the jitters. Overwhelm, sadness, hope, neutrality, positivity, nothing at all.

I guess I sort of do have a point, only because it's something I need to hear today.

Life is huge. And messy. And happy, and sad and overwhelming and indescribable in its entirety. But I know that in the midst of this unexplainable life, there is a God who loves me and is strong.

Even though it's not every day that the thought of life being so vast shakes me to my core, I know that every day, including these days, I can trust Him.

And even though that doesn't make life any less of a big scary monster, I know I'm safe in my Father's arms as I face it.

Seasons: The Future

So about the future. I obviously don't know it so it makes sense that this one might be a little shorter (or longer-it could logically go either way, I just went with shorter). There are litterally (at least) a hundred different ways it could go. After the internship I'm doing, I might stay on there. Or I might come back here. If I come back here I could work, go away to college, take classes from home, live with my parents, move out with some friends, get some kind of certification and work a more specific job, come back to the office job I have now, etc. Or I could move to CA and live with some family and find a job with some distant cousins. Or I could move to some other random state and adventure there. The list of possibilities goes on and on. What sounds best to me right now is to do one of the aforementioned options that have to do with moving back here but we really will see won't we.

Thankful Thursday: Sweet heart hurts.

I was going to say "Happy Thursday to you!" And if you're having a happy Thursday, good for you. In the sense of wishing someone a happy day I suppose I do wish you that. However, I do not mean that I feel happy on this Thursday. So maybe more like "Thoughtful and introspective Thursday!" Doesn't sound as nice as "Happy Thursday" but that's okay. I'm not particularly happy on this Thursday and for fear of tempting you to judge whether or not my reason for not being happy is legitimate or not (some people feel like they have that position, you know) I won't go into the details of why. I will say that I miss somebody today. More than just one; I miss him and his whole family. Without going into more detail on that, I'll tell you that my heart hurts today. The why is irrelevant for the sake of what I'm trying to say; but it does hurt. There are at least two kinds of heart hurts I think: ( There is good news though beca...

We Meet Again

Well, to say that it feels weird to be here again is an understatement. This is a little emotional for me and I'll try to explain why. Firstly, it's been a while since the last time I wrote here. When I typed the address into the search bar, I was actually surprised that a 404 page didn't show up and that, instead, I saw a familiar title and design come up on the screen. There it was - my own writing, published on a web page I undoubtedly spent hours adjusting and tweaking until it was just right, down to the blue and green squares I painted by hand, scanned into a computer and digitized the old fashioned way with....wait for it.....*Microsoft Paint*. Illustrator? Pshht. Who needs that when you've got the grandmother of graphic design tools for FREE on your receptionist job work computer? (sarcasm, of course. Adobe, baby, I love you.) But even the details and designs of this page speak to the reason why this is emotional for me. All of the things about this blog that ...

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