Hey!
I'm back. After....well, this is embarrassing. Okay. Ten months. It's been ten months.
But rather than apologizing about that more than once right now (I'm sorry guys) I won't linger on the past.
Let's just get moving on to what's going on right now.
What's going on right now for me is some restlessness in my heart.
Because I want to pursue this desire to write and express and create. Create understated, everyday-beautiful, things that I perceive to be way beyond my skill level.
I've finally figured out (with the help of the blog of one of my friends and the encouragement of my fianceé) that I'm in love with the idea of writing, and I have been for a while.
Have you ever been on the cusp of something that you've dreamed of for a while, or even just discovered your passion for, but are petrified that you're going to screw up your shot at doing it right? It's not just the anxiousness to not waste my shot at making something awesome and beautiful through my writing that leaves my heart anxious when I think of it. It's also the fear that I won't do it the right way. That I'll be called (or feel like) a poser or I'll be cliche or that I'll look back on my published blog posts and see a 23% of what I knew I could do rather than a full 100%. And when I say 100%, I don't mean zero spelling errors or incorrect uses of commas. I mean that I'm afraid of seeing 23% of my heart put into my writing when I know I could have given this passion of mine 100%. Because if I'm not giving 100% of my heart to those things I know are one of few TRUE, REAL passions of my life. then my goodness Anna, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!
It's also not just that I'm afraid of saying things that have already been said. I know almost everything I have to say has been said before, in some way or another
. If you've read about the title of the blog, you know that I'm only expecting to add to what's already out there, not invent something new. I just want the WAY I say it to be beautiful. Because one of the main themes I've found in life is that it's not so much what you do, but HOW you do it that adds up. It's not as much about what you say, but how you say it that will matter to people.
So as I stand at the edge of this adventure as if at the edge of a pool, I see myself standing there with so much excitement I can barely stand still. My eyes are tightly closed and I'm breathing out, and I'm nervous. My hands are at my sides, clenched in fists, and as I take a deep breath in, I jump. I jump into something I'm not even watching myself jump into. Because I've already looked. I've already decided that this is what I'm going to do and one of the things I'm meant to do.
So whether you are at my side, jumping along with me into your "pool" of adventure, or whether you shout "jump!" from a nearby pool chair, I'm inviting you to come along to make the most of this small amount of time we have called life and see what we get ourselves into.
I'm back. After....well, this is embarrassing. Okay. Ten months. It's been ten months.
But rather than apologizing about that more than once right now (I'm sorry guys) I won't linger on the past.
Let's just get moving on to what's going on right now.
Because I want to pursue this desire to write and express and create. Create understated, everyday-beautiful, things that I perceive to be way beyond my skill level.
I've finally figured out (with the help of the blog of one of my friends and the encouragement of my fianceé) that I'm in love with the idea of writing, and I have been for a while.
Have you ever been on the cusp of something that you've dreamed of for a while, or even just discovered your passion for, but are petrified that you're going to screw up your shot at doing it right? It's not just the anxiousness to not waste my shot at making something awesome and beautiful through my writing that leaves my heart anxious when I think of it. It's also the fear that I won't do it the right way. That I'll be called (or feel like) a poser or I'll be cliche or that I'll look back on my published blog posts and see a 23% of what I knew I could do rather than a full 100%. And when I say 100%, I don't mean zero spelling errors or incorrect uses of commas. I mean that I'm afraid of seeing 23% of my heart put into my writing when I know I could have given this passion of mine 100%. Because if I'm not giving 100% of my heart to those things I know are one of few TRUE, REAL passions of my life. then my goodness Anna, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!
It's also not just that I'm afraid of saying things that have already been said. I know almost everything I have to say has been said before, in some way or another
. If you've read about the title of the blog, you know that I'm only expecting to add to what's already out there, not invent something new. I just want the WAY I say it to be beautiful. Because one of the main themes I've found in life is that it's not so much what you do, but HOW you do it that adds up. It's not as much about what you say, but how you say it that will matter to people.
So as I stand at the edge of this adventure as if at the edge of a pool, I see myself standing there with so much excitement I can barely stand still. My eyes are tightly closed and I'm breathing out, and I'm nervous. My hands are at my sides, clenched in fists, and as I take a deep breath in, I jump. I jump into something I'm not even watching myself jump into. Because I've already looked. I've already decided that this is what I'm going to do and one of the things I'm meant to do.
So whether you are at my side, jumping along with me into your "pool" of adventure, or whether you shout "jump!" from a nearby pool chair, I'm inviting you to come along to make the most of this small amount of time we have called life and see what we get ourselves into.