Sometimes, I like to go through my journal and read what I've written there. Sometimes, it makes me want to cringe. Sometimes it gives me a little reminding hope that I'm not as scatterbrained as I sometimes feel. Sometimes it will be exactly what I needed to read and through it, I am encouraged that the Lord does speak through me-even if it's to speak to myself. Today, I felt compelled to read my last entry, so I did. Coincidentally, I've also wanted to post on here today. I'd like to post more often, even if it's just one liners. I want to put pieces of my life up here like a storage box or scrap book that I (and hopefully you) can flip through and enjoy-now and later. These two things together were the recipe for this here post today. Here's from January 2nd. It's from after Jake gently challenged me to spend more of my time doing things that are good for me instead of often simply sinking into things I call "rest" but in reality don't give much rest at all. It's sort of my (late) new years blog post but without your typical resolution list.
This isn't my only goal for this next year, but this is something I definitely want to impliment more and more as a lifelong pursuit and I'm thankful for a lifelong best friend who challenges me and holds me to the challenge.
Here's what I want to do: less of what I feel like simply because I feel like it and more of what's good for me. For Jesus, for Jake, for my heart's good. For our future, for the sake of being spiritually hot instead of lukewarm, and for the best quality of relationships. I don't believe in any special power of the beginning of the year, but I'm glad for this call from the Lord (through Jake) at this particular time. Because in the past, when I remember my faith and devotion and being strong, I can never put my finger on when or why- I just know it happened and that it was good. But today, I can say and know that not only has this week been a "wake up" one, but that Jake was instrumental in it's happening although I give the Holy Spirit in him the credit for that. I know that Jake cares that I'm putting my brain to good use and even when I'm not doing that to the utmost, I'm thankful that he is the kind of person that has the depth to sense these things and hold me to them. But more so, that he holds me to seeking my Father in order to find that depth. I'm so happy that this man, my best friend, calls depth out in me. And that ultimately, depth is found in God. So even when jake is not advertently pushing me to grow closer to Jesus, when he calls me to be deeper, he is calling me to draw closer to the God who goes deeper than anything I could understand or know now or forever. Thank you, God, that this is only the beginning.