Jesus, I'm sitting outside and I was about ready to blog but you told me to pray for a while first and since mom and Sarah are laying on the deck here next to where I'm sitting I think the best way for me to do that right now is to write out my prayer with this keyboard. It's a little chilly just sitting out here but it's November 6th and I'm amazed that it's not unpleasantly cold. And the sky is all cloud covered but it's still beautiful. There's something about it that's beautiful. I think it's the color. I can't decide whether it's purple or orange but I think it's a mix of the two. It's beautiful the way it shows off the silhouettes of the trees too. It's beautiful laying on my back on the deck staring up at the vast sky. You have really helped me get my mind a lot clearer tonight and I appreciate it. I know it probably can't keep on lasting exactly like this because I still feel a pinching on my heart, an aching. But looking up at the sky, realizing a little bit more of how big it is, this pinching pain goes away a little. Not because I am realizing how big the big picture is. More so because I know you made it and if you made this huge sky, I know my problems aren't going to stop everything from being ok in the end.
Well, to say that it feels weird to be here again is an understatement. This is a little emotional for me and I'll try to explain why. Firstly, it's been a while since the last time I wrote here. When I typed the address into the search bar, I was actually surprised that a 404 page didn't show up and that, instead, I saw a familiar title and design come up on the screen. There it was - my own writing, published on a web page I undoubtedly spent hours adjusting and tweaking until it was just right, down to the blue and green squares I painted by hand, scanned into a computer and digitized the old fashioned way with....wait for it.....*Microsoft Paint*. Illustrator? Pshht. Who needs that when you've got the grandmother of graphic design tools for FREE on your receptionist job work computer? (sarcasm, of course. Adobe, baby, I love you.) But even the details and designs of this page speak to the reason why this is emotional for me. All of the things about this blog that ...