Times by Tenth Avenue North

This song is full of what I know the Lord is saying to my heart when and if I am honest with myself. Specifically these lyrics:

"The times that you doubt me

When you can't feel

The times that you question

Is this for real

The times you're broken

The times that you mend

The times you hate me

And the times that you bend

Well my love is over

It's underneath

It's inside

It's in between"

I have always grown up thinking that there were compartments, almost like shelves, in my life that God belonged in. I thought He should go in such-and-such a shelf when I was happy and such-and-such a shelf when I was sad. It was like I put on a different pair of glasses to see Him through in different parts of my life. And I still struggle with that mindset but this song is such a good reminder to me that His love is all around and in me. My trying to organize God was just a waste of time and a futile attempt to make God easier for my mind to understand. But I'm beginning to be satisfied with the knowledge that who He is, is more than I'll ever be able to grasp. I'm embracing the fact that I will never be able to embrace all of Him in this world but He will always know all of me and love it completely. It's humbling and refreshing.

to just BE

This semester of college is officially over as of last friday when I emailed my english teacher my final essays. Halleluyer! I just checked and the last time I posted here was almost a month ago. It definitely feels like waaaay longer though and I've been itching to write again. I've basically abandoned my podcast the past few weeks as well and while I don't feel all guilt tripped to be more consistent about these things, I really just want to do them more often simply because I enjoy them. Probably needless to summarize, I've been busy. But not always with matters I had no choice in. Some of the busyness came from having spent my time reading or watching netflix shows while I cleaned my room or crocheting (or trying to) a full-size blanket or just chilling with Jake, etc. etc. etc. Truth is that yes, I've been busy but no, I didn't have to be as busy as I have been. However, being busy, I have accomplished things and I'm glad about that. I guess it

Seasons: Right Now

As it has only been since last night that I wrote my first post in my new series, "Seasons", I don't necessarily have a whole lot more to say about my planning for the posts so I think I'm gonna dive right in. Something I like doing is sitting in coffee shops while I blog (VERRY original, I know). I'm in one right now and have a Pumpkin Pie Chai on one side of the table and a Coconut Chocolate Chip Scone on the other (now you can be jealous of my overpriced and extremely unhealthy consumptions so far today). This brings me to the first season I'm gonna talk about . . . . RIGHT NOW. Right now I'm 19 years old. I'm about 3 1/2 months away from moving to Kansas City for at least six months to do an internship at the International House of Prayer. I'm not a mom, not a wife and for sure don't have everything even close to figured out. I would go so far as to say that I barely have anything figured out. Now you're probably trying to fig

Clear The Stage

This song was first brought to my attention a few months ago - when one of my biggest idols was being exposed for what it really was. Since I've been learning all along, but especially today, that vulnerability is something that should increase as you become more and more rooted in the Lord, I will be vulnerable with you here and now. One of my biggest idols for about half of my life was liking guys. And while it was specific guys that I would like, my idol was moreso just having someone to daydream, think, talk and pray about. I realize that liking somebody isn't sin in itself. I actually think that romanctic love is one of the big ways that the Lord is glorified through our hearts as humans. It became an idol though, because I allowed it to be my god. I based my relationship with God on how my love life was. When someone would ask me how I was, I would reply based on my relationship with the person I liked. When I prayed, a majority of the content of my

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