I'd Like to Add . . .

Do you ever get tired of finding yourself giving other people advice that you realize you've never taken for yourself?  Do you ever realize that you've totally been the person with a log in your own eye trying to get a splinter out of someone elses?  That's not to invalidate the splinter; it may definitely still be there.  But how can I even see the "splinter" problem clearly when my own vision is obscured by an "entire log" size problem? I'm sort of tired of being the blogger that always has a resolve and all the points (attemptedly) tied up at the end of each post.  I don't want to be that author whose books always end perfectly but unrealistically.  I'd rather be real than have a nice wrap up.  I want my blog to help you as I try to help myself, but I can't always have a resolve or answer.  Mostly because I don't know it all, but also because life is just messy.  The answers are not always black and white and will most usually ...

*This is a guest post from an anonymous, reasonably wise source* Sometimes I have wonder, is there a point to life? Then I remember, yes, yes there is.

Not to reference myself too often, as if I had that many amazing things to say, but I feel pretty in awe of a lot of things today.  Some of those things I feel hurt and endangered by- and I'm in awe because I just don't know how to digest them.  On the contrary though, a lot of those other awesome things are reminders from the Lord, telling me that I am loved, safe and that my Heavenly Father carries me. He cares about me so much!   (So much being an unimaginably large amount. :) Here's where referencing myself comes in: one of those things that reminds me that He holds me (all the time, including now) is the second to last post I posted called, Painful, but precious .  Meandering around my blog, I saw that title and decided that maybe I could profit from reading it today. Reading it, trying to take the words in as if for the first time, I realized I needed to get what it said through my head.  I think the Holy Sp...

I really like this term,"Great Heights".  Its like a dually encompassing phrase that reminds me that without going to such great heights, not only would you never run the risk of being greatly hurt, but you would also never experience truly great things. Lately, it feels like I've gotten myself into a lot of heighty things.  Things that would be stepping outside of my comfort zone.  Things that could come back and bite me.  And it feels like some of those things have bitten me (although none of them have been fatal).  That's why I'm writing this right now.  To remind myself, and you, that if you never try then you'll never know.  Even if it doesn't seem worth it, sometimes, it is. Sometimes you find out that you've been right all along.  But sometimes you find out that you were dead wrong. And I believe the "dead wrong" times are worth the risk.  

People are precious.  But painful sometimes. Sometimes they stay, sometimes they go.  Sometimes they hurt you, sometimes they don't. And sometimes you can't figure out why they would choose to do either of those things. But one thing is for sure, no person is replaceable and they are all precious. Regardless of how hard you may have to work to keep or restore a relationship (or to create one in the first place) every person is worth it. I mean I know we can't go around being friends with every person in the world, but all I'm saying is, we need to regard the people that are  in our lives as what they are: precious. Keep in mind, I'm mostly talking to Yours Truly with this post. Sometimes, it's hard for me to live out everything I wrote in the paragraph above. I could come up with a plethora of excuses why I might want to shy away from it; "I've been hurt by people too many times."  True, I've been hurt. "They just d...

I want to write something for thanksgiving. Not to join the bandwagon but because I really am so thankful for so many things. Yet I wonder how I can do that and NOT be cliche about it. Oh well.  Chances are, no mattter what I say, somebody else has already talked about it so I'll just speak my mind.  This year for thanksgiving, (this morning actually) I am thinking about the grace that I've been shown in having so many opportunities to fall into messy situations or deceptions and have been saved from them, time and time again. I was thinking about my name and how it means "grace". I was thinking about how I've been given so much grace in my life, especially in the area of the Lord saving me FROM things in my life-time and time again- that could have gone on to destroy me. Or things that would have been very messy, at the least. To describe what I'm trying to say, I'll use the picture I have of it in my head.  It's like I'm walking blindfo...

These are some of my most favorite posts to make.  Enjoy. WARNING: This post may contain graphic images from my life.  Get over it. ;) Let's have a moment of silence for the two squirrels I killed in two days a few weeks ago (1 of which was photographable).  I felt a little bit bad. Writing music late at night.  I like. Perks of the job. YES. PLEASE. My grandpa played piano for me for about an hour on sunday and rekindled my appreciation for hymns. This, friends, is what pictures look like when you forget to buy an iPhone back without a flash diffuser.  Kind of cool sometimes, just not all the time.   Went on a roadtrip with my friend Lisa to go see the Icarus Account. Fun times. My grandpa turning 94! I like the rainy days. Wouldn't mind if I did live there. The first picture I took with my phone. Because I like taking creepy pictures of my dog. I just like this one. Sneaky picture at ...

Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord , and turn away from evil. Proverbs 3:7 Not only does this helpful reminder rhyme, it's such good advice.  And I don't have to be very wise to know that.  It's a win-win.  Either you are wise or you aren't wise, but being wise in your own eyes isn't. . well, wise, either way. Because if you are wise and you don't have a big head about it, then you're humble and admirable. But if you aren't wise, then you won't look like a fool who thinks they're wise when they really aren't. At first, the second line of the verse didn't seem to tie in with the first line but thinking about how they could be related, the last half of the verse actually gives some insight to the first half.  It seems hard sometimes to not let my view of myself get puffed up- it's hard to not slip into seeing myself as wise (despite the obviousness of the fact that I'm not)- but when my heart is in the...

*I wrote this one yesterday, right after the first one but something told me not to post it right away.  And as I was revising this last night, I realized that it was because I needed to read it last night and if I had already posted it, who knows if I would have.  Well, here it is.                           ________________________________________________ So, the last thing I said was that life’s hard (and I sounded pretty pessimistic doing so).   But there’s another approach I want to take on when talking about the fact that "things are rough, but . . ." (I know, you probably don’t know what to do with all these posts after over 10 days of radio silence, but take it a word at a time =P ). I want to take this a little more personally.   And by personally, I mean that I want to talk about how sometimes people are rough, BUT. But ...

We all have those days where nothing seems to work the way you planned and it all does the opposite of what you were trying to get done.  I'm having a couple of those weeks.  The weeks that seem like they could have well been the inspiration for the book series AND movie "A Series of Unfortunate Events".  Just, nothing seems to work right.  No.  Not nothing.  Just a lot of things.  And that's my fight right now and really for all of life: To be able to see the things that aren't going wrong even though it may seem that the majority of things are going wrong. But it's so rough.  Let me start with my phone story (partly because it explains why I'm so frustrated and partly just because I'd like to vent). My old phone slowly just stopped working.  That sucked. The screen would turn completely white every once in a while but then go back to normal.  And then it would turn black.  And once it went black it ju...

I have been thinking about Matthew 5 (and 6 and 7) a lot lately.  Particularly, the beatittudes have caught my attention and haven't surendered it.  The same thing happened a few months ago and I had a thought that changed the way I looked at one of them. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."  (Matthew 5:8) Dictionary.com says the following of pure: adjective, pur·er, pur·est. 1. free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind; free from extraneous matter 2. unmodified by an admixture; simple or homogeneous 3. of unmixed descent or ancestry 4. free from foreign or inappropriate elements 5. clear; free from blemishes That verse had always made me a little sad. I was discouraged because I thought it was unattainable; I know I've been contaminated and my heart is a far cry from being pure.  I was born inferior.  I know I have let myself be modified by ...

Welp, I'm at it again.  When I wrote the first reminder from my dog , I didn't plan on there being a "Part 2" but a "Part 2" emerged and I decided to write it.  I imagine once (Lord willing) I have kids, I'll get some good reminders from them but for now, dogs it is. This one is about my other dog, Dolly.  She's Missy's mom.   My poopy. I got home from work and grocery shopping the other afternoon and as soon as I stepped in the door, she was acting WEIRD. I mean, she's a dog so she's expected to do weird things sometimes.  But she wasn't her usual, weird self.  She was acting guilty .   I went to my sister and my rooms to make sure she hadn't messed with our garbage (a cherished pastime of hers).  She hadn't indulged. I picked her up and checked the living room and behind the couch for a mess but I couldn't find any.  I still haven't found what she was being weird over.  As I gave up the s...

Hey. Lets just get to business.  This is one of THOSE posts because this is one of  those days.  I am discouraged today.  I'm confused.  I'm hurt.  I feel overwhelmed and like I'm just throwing my hands up.  It's one of those "Jesus, take the wheel" kind of days for me (as cliche as it is to quote a Carrie Underwood song).  It's a day where I am tempted to choose apathy over trust since in the case of the former, I would still have some sense of control.  But the truth is, I don't.  I just don't.  And that's a wonderful thing. Jesus never called me to apathy, but He has called me to trust Him-over and over and over and over.  So there's some clarity in that at least. I trust that He is worth trusting.  Because He is God.  Because He loved me first.  Because He decided that it would be worth it to die for me. I, for one, probably would have thought that it was an unwis...

You, my friend, are reading my 101st post! What what??!! I wasn't sure what to write about for my 101st post.  But I know now.  The lady who cleans this office I work at helped me figure it out.  Without even knowing. She came in and I said, "Good morning! How are you?"  "Pretty good, I need some coffee *laughter, hug*, how are you?" "I'm pretty good.  How are you?"  and, graciously, she answered me again instead of looking at me like I was some robot with a short. It's not that big of a deal (not to use this as a crutch but I didn't sleep a lot last night, which is my fault, but still-it makes me a little slower today than normal). So I asked her how she was doing twice.  There are worse things I could've said or done.    But that got me thinking, "Did I mean any of what I just said?"  and I think the answer to most of that was no . And in that moment I resolved to be more intentional, notwithstanding the mun...

Romans 1:21 "For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened." Wow.  I do not want that .  For a while I was sort of under the impression that as long as I knew God, I would be ok. But I've got my part to do.  He didn't call me to honor Him as God and give thanks to Him for nothing. It scares me that it is possible to know God but become futile in thinking with a darkened, foolish heart.  Stuff just got real when the truth hits me that we humans can taste the goodness of God and then  still turn away.  At the same time it's beautiful because God doesn't force us to love Him.  Because of this though, God allows our hearts to be darkened if that's what we choose.  I do not want a dark heart.  Gross. He has given me the option and I can take it or leave it.  To leave it thoug...

I googled blog post prompts just for fun and found a website with a whole bunch.  Rather than writing whole posts on some of the topics, I decided to do interview style responses. Write about the first time you broke the law. When I was 4, stole a handful of grass seed from a store. Felt awful but never admitted to it untill way later. They knew I was lying but never prosecuted (is it even possible to prosecute a 4 year old?).  I discarded the evidence onto their lawn as soon as I got out of the store (I guess that was sort of smart).  Why grass seed? Good question.  Your favorite vacation spot or place that you've traveled to. An Island in Malaysia called Redang. Everything about that place looked like those tropical photos you secretly doubt the existence of.  Straight up B-E-A-U-tiful. Write about the passing of a loved one. My Grandma died 2 years ago on the 4th of July (ironic, don't you think?).  For me, the whole experience wa...

 This is Missy. Missy is cute. Not to be one of those people that lets their pets infiltrate the rest of their lives, but I learned (or was moreso reminded of) something from my dog last night. I was sitting on this low couch we have (my mom made it - she's all creative like that) and cuddling my dogs.  I cuddled Dolly (Missy's mom) and after I put her down she just walked away.  Then I picked missy up and put her on my lap and kissed her on the head, but she (without missing a beat) started climbing up and trying to get closer to my face (in order to lick it no doubt).  I know I'm using my dogs as an analogy.  I know how lame that is.  Sorry .  But bear with me here. I couldn't help but draw a symbolization between what my dogs did and what I do with God.  Maybe everyone else doesn't struggle with this, but I have a hard time returning to the Lord when I've felt a good dose of His love or spent a lot...

Albeit random, here's a few snapshots from my life lately. A Wedding! Who doesn't love a good wedding? These were the first changing leaves I saw up close and the moment I realized that Fall is HERE. YESS!       I have a new cousin once removed!     One of by bestest friends.  We like to be together.  And make jokes.  And wear legit-looking Armani bracelets. Afew saturdays ago, I painted my nails, baked some (healthy, might I add) pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and went skydiving.  I felt very accomplished that day. This is on the wall at my grandpa's house.  I like it a lot.  Simple and to the point. I consider this good decoration.   Who doesn't enjoy a nice Nicolas Cat collage?     No effects. Just the sky.   Oh gosh folks, I'm getting sooo excited!

I really like lists. I'm gonna start making some.  Here's one: five things I'm thankful and happy about today. Including, but not limited to, those pictured above. 1.  Friends that don't give up on me .   Lately I've been musing about how grateful I am about the fact that God has blessed me (immensely) with some really amazing friends.  I have had friends sort of give up on me in the past (because let's face it, sometimes I'm not so easy to love).  But that fact draws my appreciation to another fact: that other friends of mine have been wonderfully fantastic to me, despite myself. (picture functions for exemplifying 2 & 4) 2. My job(s).   I am extremely, incredibly, over-the-top blessed to have not one but two jobs that I enjoy.   I mean, don't get me wrong, work is work and I love having days off.  But for being jobs, my socks are blessed off that I have jobs and by the ones that I get to have.  ...

It's late.  I probably shouldn't be up right now cause I plan on being up somewhat early tomorrow.  But there's a lot of things in life that "shouldn't be".  This is (by far) not the worst among them. There's something on my heart.  I'll try to get it formed into a blog post quickly for the sake of time. It's something I've never thought of blogging about; it has (thus far) been something I kept sort of hidden and pondered in my heart.  But for some reason, it's nagging at me to be written down, to be shared.  Almost as if I have realized that this thing deserves to have a work of literary art in it's honor as a tribute to what it means to me.  So I will make one for it. This thing is a truth.  A story, sort of.  A very short story.  My parents have told it to me (or reminded me more or less) a few times over the course of my life but it's one of those things that have expansive impact even though you've had minimal encount...

So about the future.  I obviously don't know it so it makes sense that this one might be a little shorter (or longer-it could logically go either way, I just went with shorter). There are litterally (at least) a hundred different ways it could go. After the internship I'm doing, I might stay on there. Or I might come back here. If I come back here I could work, go away to college, take classes from home, live with my parents, move out with some friends, get some kind of certification and work a more specific job, come back to the office job I have now, etc. Or I could move to CA and live with some family and find a job with some distant cousins. Or I could move to some other random state and adventure there. The list of possibilities goes on and on. What sounds best to me right now is to do one of the aforementioned options that have to do with moving back here but we really will see won't we.

Sometimes, I just want to write. I have this impulse to write even if I don't have anything in particular I want to write about.  I search for some substancial subject matter just to have a good reason to write about something.  I like writing. Sometimes I question the phenomenon.  I ask the Lord if it's wrong for me to be so into writing, because something that I love this much that isn't God Himself must be an idol, right?  Maybe not. He said, "So write about me." And that put a smile on my face for two specific reasons: 1) Because I can write (something I love doing) about HIM (God, who I love)!  What a blessing! 2) Because of what this tells me about Him, me, life and our love.  Because this is a revelation of His heart toward me.  The first reason is a lot more straight forward and obvious in meaning: He has given me the freedom to write about Him today on September 25th of 2012.  Sweet!  The s...

As it has only been since last night that I wrote my first post in my new series, "Seasons", I don't necessarily have a whole lot more to say about my planning for the posts so I think I'm gonna dive right in. Something I like doing is sitting in coffee shops while I blog (VERRY original, I know).  I'm in one right now and have a Pumpkin Pie Chai on one side of the table and a Coconut Chocolate Chip Scone on the other (now you can be jealous of my overpriced and extremely unhealthy consumptions so far today).  This brings me to the first season I'm gonna talk about . . . . RIGHT NOW. Right now I'm 19 years old.  I'm about 3 1/2 months away from moving to Kansas City for at least six months to do an internship at the International House of Prayer.  I'm not a mom, not a wife and for sure don't have everything even close to figured out.  I would go so far as to say that I barely have anything figured out.  Now you're probably trying to fig...

On the first day of the season of fall, (too cold for being this early in the season, I might add) I was driving home from a friend's house thinking about what he had just shared about a painful season he had gone through in the past.  The fact that I could relate triggered me to think back on different seasons of my life.   Happy, sad, weird, painful, uncomfortable, refining, and restoring are a few of a whole slew of labels I would attribute to past seasons. I want to write a series about some of these 'seasons'.   Trying to think through the weight of this task before I embark on it, I realize it's daunting nature.  The prospect of trying to put all the events, thoughts, feelings and emotions into mere words would be impossible.  I really wouldn't be able to begin to explain every detail in it's entirety even if I had a hundred years and nothing better to be doing with my time, but doing bits and pieces of it justice is a challenge I think I want to acce...

We're not perfect people.  Nobody is.  I don't think anyone, in seriousness, would even claim to be. It's a fact of being human that we fall down sometimes. I get caught up in the non-priorities as if they really mattered.  I waste my time.  I try so hard to please the wrong people.  I strive for things unattainable that turn out to be phantoms in the end.  I hurt the ones I love the most and put my best smile forward when it comes to strangers. I. Have. Failed. When it's most obvious to me that I've failed, it's really hard to have any motivation to pick myself up and keep going.  There's nothing as discouraging to me than looking at how badly I've blown it AND the fact that it happens again and again. "But last time I tried to get out of this mud pit I failed so why would it be any different this time?", is the main thought that goes through my head when I finally realize my need to get ou...