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Sometimes I find myself smelling a sweatshirt that belongs to a friend just for the heck of it- because it's different than how I'm used to my own clothes smelling. Sometimes though I do it because I miss the person whose sweatshirt I am smelling. No, I always do it because I miss the person. But sometimes I do it because I miss the person an especially extra amount. Sometimes the sweatshirt is how I feel close to them. And sometimes I do this same thing except not with smell and not with sweatshirts.
Sometimes it's a place that reminds me of a person. Sometimes it's a smell that reminds me of a place that reminds me of a person. Sometimes it's a song that I sang to them in my head. Sometimes it's a song I sang to God about them in my heart. It fascinates me how brains (especially human ones) work and I think it's generally a pretty cool concept that a smell or song or place can bring back memories like they do. In some cases though, I've taken this intriguing phenomenon and abused it. When I miss somebody or I wish there were some way I could be with them now and I just can't, I've leaned on bringing back the emotions of my memories through smelling a smell or visiting a place rather than leaning on the one who made those fond memories possible in the first place. That being God- obviously.
He's ok with me not having it all together- He's made it clear that He loves me despite the fact that I obviously don't. I can miss my friends. I can savor the sweetness of their presence even when I can't hear the sweetness of their voice. But there comes a point when it's time to wash the sweatshirt. It won't keep that smell forever and if I'm going to try to wear it around but still keep the smell by not cleaning it, it's gonna get dirty. If I try to stuff it in my closet to keep the smell, it's just going to start smelling like closet (and I don't know of anybody that particularly likes that smell).
It's time to give back some of the sweatshirts I've stuffed in my closet in hopes of keeping their smells. For others that I've been wearing around, it's time time for a wash. I can still keep some of them but to wear them around dirty just isn't good. I think I've come a long way with some of my sweatshirts. With others I'm just realizing that something has to be done with them but I'm just thankful for that realization because now I can figure out what needs to be done with them.
Some I've already given back, some I've put in the laundry hamper and some of them I've already washed and now they're clean and I can keep borrowing them. This is a really complicated analogy but it works for my mind so I hope it does the same for yours and you can see what I'm saying because I think the lesson under the pile of dirty sweatshirts is a good one (pun intended ;).